Stuck or up?

For many of us, COVID has put an end to the separation of home and work.

After all, it’s now often business at the top and casual down the bottom as we zoom into meetings, hang out the washing between calls and manage the needs of the family in the same way we manage our team.

How we now turn up to work, whether that be in person or virtually, is more closely interlinked with our personal lives than it ever has been before. Our relationships are a little closer now, we’ve spent 2 years really checking in with each other and making sure everyone’s ok. We’ve taken part of the superficial layer off as we’ve collectively experienced this upheaval together.

So, what has it left us with?

For some, it’s left us with a little less armour.

Comfort in others seeing our hair messily pulled onto the top of our heads because we haven’t washed it for a few more days than usual. 

Comfort in others coming into our personal space as we meet virtually, learning more about us as they enter the rooms we live in.

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• Comfort in sharing more personal and intimate details about how we cope and deal with hard things.

Our relationships are changing.

We’re letting the walls down; we’re letting colleagues into places they weren’t welcome before.

As we do this, our expectations of each other change.

• When we’re reprimanded, questioned or doubted, it feels more personal. 
• When we reveal our weaknesses, and they are used against us, it feels more vindictive. 
• When we are left out of important decisions, it feels like rejection.

You see, even though we might have thought we have separation between our relationships at work and our relationships with our family, we don’t. Our family relationships, especially with our primary caregivers, and what we learnt to believe about ourselves, are the foundation to all other relationships – including those at work. 

So, when you’ve let the walls down and suddenly find yourself in a state of distress, it’s highly likely you’ve triggered a past memory, a limiting belief that sets off the fight or flight response. You know the ones that mean you can’t think straight, you can’t sleep properly, and you ruminate, looking for a clue or an answer.

When we are in this physiological state, it is impossible for us to move forward, and as we recover from it, unless we address the root cause, we remain stuck at this level. This is why it’s so hard for many women to rise through their careers to the very senior levels without feeling like they have to abandon themselves in the process.

However, there is a way out and there is a way up. It starts with you and the decision to do the inner work needed to release the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck where you are.

As Lao Tsu said, “Mastering others is strength; mastering oneself is true power”

Are you ready to step out of the shadows and into your true power?